#AttentionToDetail

It’s a doulas worst nightmare- missing a birth. We do everything in our power to avoid it but babies will be babies and have their own opinions on things no matter how hard you try and “plan”.

Recently, I was on call for a homebirth client who was expecting her second child. My doula partner and I had been casually checking in with the clients here and there to see if she had any questions, if she needed anything, and of course if she was experiencing any symptoms of labor. “Nothing to write home about” she had reported at 9pm when we chatted last. Knowing I was in the clear for a good night's sleep, I set my phone ringer on loud (checked it three times) and was off to sleep. 7am rolls around and I get a text “Morning! Contractions are starting but not strong or progressing”. “Great!”, I thought, today’s the day to have a baby. So I hop in the shower. Not more than 10 minutes later I get a text from the patient's partner - “having contractions every 30 seconds for a minute, and her water just broke, please come now”. Still soaking wet I threw on clothes, grabbed my shoes and out the door I ran. 

On the phone with them I could tell things were moving incredibly fast, I stayed calm and talked them through everything. Little did I know, I put in the wrong address… but the wrong address was for a former client who had a home birth recently and in the heat of the moment I didn’t realize my mistake. SO I quickly walked up to the driveway, banged on the door and let myself INTO THE WRONG HOUSE! My Former client was standing there with his 3 week old baby and said “OH Mary Kate, nice to see you!” Panicked, I said “good to see you too! I actually have to go!” and ran back out the door. Thankfully, my actual laboring client lived 4 houses down (hence the address confusion) and I made it to their house with 10 minutes to spare before the baby graced us with their presents. It was a wonderful experience for the family, although fast and furious, and we had a great chuckle about my going to the wrong place after. 

All I could hear ringing through my head was Haley saying, “Attention to details MK, attention to details!”

#WorkWife

In honor of World Doula Week, I want to take the opportunity to *brag* about the most compassionate, professional, and incredibly dedicated doula I know--oh and she just so happens to be the best business partner ever. (Yes, even better than your four-legged coworker who walks across the keyboard and shows his butt to the camera during Zoom calls. Talking to you, Gretzky cat 😸).

Haley wears many hats though I’ve never actually seen her in a hat. She’s a birth doula, postpartum doula, infant readiness coach, volunteer doula program coordinator, pediatric RN, mother, dear friend and, of course, my work-wife. How she juggles everything still baffles me, but she manages with grace and proficiency in everything she does. She somehow manages to run a business with a child climbing on her back. Yes, you ask, I do have pictures to prove it.

I first met Haley in 2019 through her work in the volunteer program. I remember thinking, “Huh, she’s pretty cool, yet also feels familiar and comfortable.” It turns out that's the feeling you get when meeting your business soulmate. It was like looking in a mirror. Haley and I were instantaneously drawn to each other, and continue to be impressed as we find even more ways to connect even over the years. To put it simply: Haley. Is. Awesome.

Personally, Haley inspired and motivated me to “take the jump” into doula work full time. She so kindly folded me into her incredible brand and it’s been a match made in doula heaven ever since.

But don’t just take it from me! I reached out to some of her “favorites” (we don’t actually pick favorites, I promise). The stories shared melted my heart.

“Haley is amazing! Not only did she attend labor and delivery, but also pulled last minute care together for my baby while I was in the hospital; before I knew it she had an entire army of volunteers to care for my baby. She kept my baby and I together while I was in the hospital. Without her we would have been separated from him. I knew after our first meeting she was the doula for us! She helped my husband both in the delivery room and at home to hold our baby in a carrier. Haley means the world to me and my family!”

Unfortunately for me, I do occasionally have to share my work-wifey with other birth professionals. They didn’t hesitate to sing her praises either.

“Her calm style has anchored me in more than a few moments when I felt adrift at sea, and her quiet, determined confidence in my instincts and abilities has given me the push I need to move forward. She's helped me see what I can do---which, if you think about it, is the hallmark of a great doula.”

Another friend shared a story that perfectly exemplifies Haley’s nurturing personality.

“This past June, I ran after my dogs who were eating a dead thing. I tripped in a shallow culvert and knew from the piercing pain in my ankle that something was definitely not good. I hobbled back to the house and texted Haley…

Haley: Which ankle is it?

Me: My right. Oh. Shit. I can’t drive.

Haley: Uh huh.

Me: …I’ll ask a neighbor to give me a ride.

Haley: I’m going to shower and come take you to urgent care. Me: You live 45 minutes away from me. Not happening. Haley: See you in a shower and 45 minutes. The End. That’s Haley…..”

Working in the midst of a global pandemic has proven to be the ultimate test of flexibility and adaptability. Haley has taken on the challenge of continuing to meet people where they are and to bring them comfort and confidence. As one dear mother wrote:

“I first connected with Haley in June 2020, in the middle of both my first pregnancy and a global pandemic. Fun! Except that it was. Haley's calm demeanor helped me to slow down, and draw both my figurative and literal breath. This baby was coming, pandemic or not, so why not plan for the best outcome (and prepare, just in case, for one that might look different, just in case)? That positive outlook really jived with my uber-optimistic husband, and her practice of saying "Here's the research. What conclusions do you draw?" perfectly aligned with my data-driven brain. My baby, and approach to motherhood, is better for having had Haley as our doula. I've been able to carry forward some of her lessons and tools (BRAIN, anyone???) into my everyday life. I still hear her voice telling me to get one more pillow when I'm breastfeeding (and my baby is 7 months old now!). My family was lucky enough to be able to lean on her for overnight postpartum support as well, and it's not lost on me how lucky I was to have someone I completely and utterly trusted with my baby girl at a point when I simply could not handle it by myself. During this World Doula Week, and beyond, I count our paths crossing among the blessings of my life. Thank you, Haley!”

I could go on and on about Haley, but I assume by now you get the point. Happiest of World Doula Weeks to you, Haley, and to all the amazing doulas out there. I appreciate you!

With love 👶,

MK

PS. This is Gretzky in a ring-sling 😸